Tibetan Marriage Customs

In Tibet, most boys and girls are fall in love by themselves, parents will not interfere in. As for the ways to court love, some of them are very obvious while some are obscurity. It differs for different people and district. In some districts, people express emotion by singing songs; in some districts, boy express their emotion by taking away girls hat, rings, muffler and other things ( if the girl want to refuse the boy, she can take back the thing directly or ask others. If the girl keep silence or agree with the boy directly, it means she want to make friends with him). After the girl consenting, boy can date with the girl. With constantly dating, the emotion of two sides become deeper, they will send gift to each other and express their wish to parents. If parents agree with the marriage, they will send betrothal gift and discuss the wedding date. In some agriculture area and pasturing area, the marriage often decided by parents. When a boy loves a girl, he will invite a matchmaker to talk with the girl's family with wine, Hada and some gift. If the girl's family agrees with this marriage, they will drink the wine and receive the gift; on contrary, this marriage will be destroyed. After the girl's family agree with the marriage, the matchmaker with take wine to the girl's family to discuss the betrothal gift. The amount of the gift is not fixed, but it should not too much commonly to avoid neighbors and relatives discussing. After sending betrothal gift, they can choose a date to hold wedding based on the birthday of the boy and girl. In some area, it is popular that boy and girl promise privately and go out to get marriage. But it is decreasing in recent years.

The day before wedding, the boy's family will invite marriage envy and matchmaker taking wine, Hada and other things to greet the bride. In the night, the girl's family will baptize the girl and dress up. The next day, bride worshiping family god, ancestors and parents, then bridesmaid support her to the horse and they will weep. At last, the marriage followers, matchmaker and marriage envy will set off together. Before the bride reaching the boy's family, boy's family will set road feast near the house to present wine and express emotion.

When bride come to the door, the bridegroom's family will spread the new white blanket which is covered with barley and wool before the horse, and present Hada and wine to matchmaker. Women support the bride get off the horse, and wash her face with milk to clean the dirty, drive off evil. After coming into the house, Lama Chant sutra to pray; Bride and Bridegroom worship heaven and earth, family god and parents. When the ceremony ends, customers have feast. After lunch, there hold a ceremony to thank the matchmaker. The bride present "Jiu mao jiu la" (cotton robe made by hand) to the bridegroom's mother.

At last, the host will warm wine to drink. Singers of the two families sing songs all the night. From the second day, the bridegroom's family members will invite customers to dinner one by one, and send gifts. It will last two or three days.